walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
