i would punch a child for taco bell
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
