I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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