they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
