youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize