i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
