i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's like a pop up book from hell.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
