You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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