she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
