Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
