I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
