just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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