I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
do herpes really smell.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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