i can't believe i had my finger in that
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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