Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
