Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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