Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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