I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
