Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
