that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
