on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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