Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
