I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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