my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
