love makes seman taste better
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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