; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
