I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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