a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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