Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar