Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just found a bag of teeth...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My vagina just clenched in fear