What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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