Don't you send me to vm
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good