i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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