This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wear drunk well.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
