adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
