found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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