So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
