I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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