btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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