you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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