ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
