We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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