Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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