WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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