If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
