if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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