Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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