Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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