Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize