Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.