it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
