O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
