You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Found the puke drawer
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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