I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
