but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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