How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
