Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
