4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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