Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
