i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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