How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
