i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
