Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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