She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i barfeds in our rink
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
